Dark morning, waiting for the sunrise. Across to the east runs a variabe band of grey lithe cloulds which here and there crop down and reseal the dark earth. Behind the house,out of my sight, the full moon is glowing like a western movie script/scene, its scattered white shadows of moonlight add a weak glow on the landscape to the west. Cat's asleep somewhere and I am alone. Two weeks ago the doc's pain dosage changed and resulted in a personality change in me. Can you spell "zombie". Too strog and twice a day the meds turned me into a junkie- mumbling, sleep prone, i spent Monday unconscious except for about an hour of semi alert time. No thank you doctor. I can never be druggie, living in fog and numb displacement. So I flondered for four days, it took away the pain , but it took away me too. We stopped the meds and within 12 hrs I was back to being whoever and whatever it is I am. "More Better." the pain is less overall, new chemo cocktail is maybe working, that's good and "more better". I still feel a tension or anxiety overall that is hard to shake off; I used to be so good at relaxing and now during relax time I don't. Looking outside again, I see the sky is opening pale blue, faint odd shaped windows where soon I anticpate the sun's beams. Within an hour or so Peggy will be up, sister Jules and brother Paul will join us for coffee and the sun will warm us all. They arrived late last nigth and I know it's going to be a "more better" day. They take me to chemo friday in Flagstaff and then home again.
Other news: Wes took off to the frozen land of 10000 lakes. We had fun for few, went on the boat Tues am and fed anchovees to stripers all over the place. We worked together on a few projects= washing machine repair, epoxy the whaler, gonna get it done! Just put ourselves nearby and talked about love, I watched our brilliant son play, actually play,with calculus, i mean he writes his own formulas and unique notations. For fun! It's beyond me, must have that knowledge from Peg the Precious -Peggy says not. Thanks for coming Wes, keep up on your dell my man, love and out.
Meanwhile Mandy Mae is perusing Peru and finds it fascinating and humid. Sounds like she is having a time out of mind - fun travlogue/vacation,and i can't wait to hear the details. go girl. live it now and come home in 2 weeks and relive it. thanks to all who read these words and to those who respond as well, feels good, all the "more better" to know you're out there.
Note from PEggy - In closing - gotta love friends and family who visit with help, bring dinner and simply relax and visit. JK and Jack, Robin and Mary, Perry and Lana and the entertainment that comes with them, the kids. Terry, a very "merry" maid who would do windows if we asked. Jim - thanks for going with Marcus for a burger. Carol, so pleasant to sit by the fire and enjoy a drink. Dave Dobbins - seems like you miss the man a lot; keep coming by, and Brandi - hope you're diagraming sentences like crazy since your tutoring session with Marcus. Also loved cookies from Adair and Lisa and the neighbor boys. Hey Beckerlegs, we're enjoying our new aquarium! Love to all of you and please don't feel slighted if we don't mention something you've done for us. We love you all.
love and laughter, Marcus
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
23 comments:
Marcus,
Sounds like the pharmacological gods have a downside too, what with the fogginess. I have no excuse but being 52 for my seemingly never ending fog! I quit drinking almost 4 years ago and thought at least one upside would be clarity of thought. Nope. Still forget stuff all the time.
Foggy of mind or not, you paint a nice picture of the morning out there. Morning is God’s parting gift to old guys; willingly or not, we are always up before everyone else, tending to stuff, getting chores done and wondering just how in the heck everyone else can sleep so damn much.
The other morning I was astride my 50 year old tractor, well before sunup, plowing out my once again drifted-in lane, under a clear star-lit sky, when the sun started to appear in the east, heralding the day by adding a rose-tinted hue and revealing a cobalt-blue sky and a perfectly cloudless morning, a gift of God, or a high-pressure system, not sure which. This entire splendor I enjoyed for about 5 seconds, then the !@#%!&*! -25 wind chill brought my frozen self back to the task at hand and I was reminded why people move away from my blessed state.
So, here on the frozen plain of icy Iowegia, we continue to muddle through. The country road that I live on is a bobsled run worthy of the Winter Olympics and probably will remain so until the ice melts sometime around Memorial Day.
Hope you feel better soon,
Kevin
Marcus,
Just saw this and thought you'd find it interesting. Glad to hear your getting some "Wes" time too.
Keep the fire,
Ron"Ton"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, who is dying from pancreatic cancer, gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. Ect..
I've seen that lecture before! I love what he says about brick walls. That they're there to make us prove how badly we want something. And when he says that it's not really about achieving your dreams, it's about living your life well and then the dreams will come to you.
Wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and all that other stuff. Give Julie and Paul hugs for me while they're there. Miss you guys.
Alena
The sun keeps rising but remember it never really sets, it is just illuminating a different part of the world for a while. Day never really disappears, like us, it just changes form. I´ll take you in any form.
Love from Peru,
Mandy
PS I know my funk-tuation is muy mal, it´s these damn foreign computers... yes, I do know the proper use of the semicolon, I just can´t find the damn thing!¿!¿!¿!?¡?¡
You didn't say that you saw the eclipse but the moon is surely gorgeous now. This week in Ia was hell. Below zero for several days, some with wind, some with snow, and some with both. Today is lovely with sun, blue sky and a temp of 35. WOW makes us appreciate 35 degrees. Speaking of foggy, we actually had some this AM--outside that is. After reading the blogs I think of you every sunrise and sunset. They are very special to you. I love them too. Keep up the good work--I love the blog.
Jeannette
Hi Marcus,
Bah humbug! I had written a totally worthwhite comment, but couldn't figure out how to get registered, so I lost it. Now you are stuck with second-hand drivel!
I'm going to try to remember as much as possible....not nearly as eloquently...how's that for a setup for total disappointment!
I am an early riser too, so about a month, I was up at about 4 a.m. (in Iowa), and was wondering how you have been doing, and discovered I DIDN'T have your blog bookmarked like I thought I did. After fruitlessly trying to remember your blogsite, I sent out an SOS to Abby, and she sent me the right address.
I stopped and read back through as far as I could, and sent out love and prayers as far as they could reach to get to you.
I get up and do my internet stuff in early morning, and I realized you are usually online also early in the morning. I think the world that loves to sleep in all the time misses the glory of early morning. It's a creation moment, and I see your sunrises in your words. You should capture these beautiful, seductive words for eternity, I know they are published on-line, but there are many tech neophytes who could benefit from your wonderful attitude, your picturesque descriptions. You take us there beside you, and make us see what you see.
I can feel the love of your friends and family from your blog. How wonderful is that!
I can't stand pain medication! When I read about the zombie-prescription, I could relate only through the teeny surgery I had on my foot..the medicine was worse than the scalpel, and after about 48 hours I decided to live with it. No real comparison here, it's the best I have. I wish I could take it away from you somehow, and leave happy, Marcus to thrill the world with his joy!
Thank you for the wonderful memories from WCCT days here in Webster City. We were blessed by your presence, and continue to be blessed because we share the stories. Some of my happiest were the after-the-show parties at your house...it doesn't seem so long ago. Peggy just about roaring with laughter, studiously pondering the box office forms. Both of you just grinning from ear to ear about....who knows, a secret between you, or just overflowing joy.
I wish you could be packaged...so many grumpy people in the world. My Uncle Gale (lived next to Peggy's dad in Stratford), had a massive stroke in October. He just started being able to drink fluids again in January, can't walk yet. He has a great attitude, a lot of slurring in his speech, but he is sharing a room at the nursing home with a real grump. That is the worst part. Forced to live with someone who doesn't appreciate anything..count that on your blessings list!
I'll try to post again, if I manage to get this one to work!
God bless you all, Marcus, we just love you like crazy here, and we send our love and prayers! Wish we could do more!
Love,
Kolleen Taylor-Berven
Marcus,
We've been working on a very funny show at WCCT. It's called "Don't Hug Me" and it's comedy about five people in a bar in Northern Minnesota. Yah, sure, you betcha! There have been full houses this weekend.
Every night we've been sharing your story with people who attend. We have a lovely photo of you from "Romeo and Juliet" in the lobby (looked pretty good in tights, Marcus!) Each night as we arrive at the theatre, we see the photo and say "Hello, Marcus" and send you some warm fuzzy thoughts and all our good wishes.
Greetings to Peggy, too! Lots of great memories of WCCT and STARS...
Sending you our good thoughts, positive energy and prayers...
Anne and Larry Blankenship
Hey all you WC people reading this, hope you're planning on motoring on over to CR on March 8th for the Marcus fundraiser! Peggy is putting together one h*&! of a party, and Peggy's even coming! You could even renew old friendships with the Hess clan.
We know you're doing the northwoods stuff over there, but Paul can talk the "ya, sure ya betcha!" with the best of ya.
Ya'll come! We're countin' on ya!
Paul and Tam
Marcus and Peggy:
I heard from Abby in Blairsburg. It has been a long time since I have seen either of you. I worked with Peggy at Northeast. I also love the sunrise and sunset. They give us an energy that only happens at those particular times of day. Your writing is beautiful. I hear a strength in your words that I know will carry you through. Love to you and Peggy. Di Holt Sinclair
To friends and family of Marcus,
I am grateful on Marcus and Peg's behalf to those who've sent cards/donations to the Marcus Fuhrman Love Fest in Iowa.
I ask you all to be present by sending cards and donations soon... There is no better cause: we're raising money for Marcus and for his lovely wife (my sister), to be able to take some unpaid leave to be with her man. Every little bit helps when the cards come in like a flood.
Here's that info again below. PLEASE PASS THIS INFO ON to others who love Marcus. Thanks, everyone!
Marcus, white light holds your heart. EDAG.
Marcus Fuhrman Benefit Concert/Love Fest Fundraiser
2:00 CST Sat. March 8
Faith United Methodist Church
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
With music of Glen Lonsdale, Waubeek Trackers (my old band), Black Sheep (my current band)
Send cards and/or donations to the address below if you want to be present but can't attend. We will display the cards at the concert.
Mail cards/donations to:
Mount Vernon Bank and Trust
"Marcus Fuhrman Benefit"
PO Box 188
Mount Vernon, IA 52314
Telephone 319/895-8835
Hey guys -
Friday night was a snowy wonderland here and in Flag! We missed seeing you, but hope your daytrip to Flag wasn't too tricky -good plan not to stay.
Saturday morning - the sunrise with the full moon over the mountains made me glad that the dogs got me up to go outside.
It's good to know that as I am looking at the beautiful sight you may also be looking at the same sunrise -
We're keeping you close in our thoughts and in our hearts!
llk
Everyone, I feel as if I came across pushy in my earlier email to you all to send cards to the Iowa fundraiser...
It's one of the many ways we all have to let our family/friends in Marcus, Peg, Wes, and Mandy know that we love them and walk beside them.
Truly, with the best of intentions...
Love you, o fam of mine. EDAG
Patty Iowa
Marcus and Peggy,
The Ryherd's send their warm wishes for a smile on your face and warm hearts as you read this and know we are wishing you the best day. We just completed the box office duties for Don't Hug Me. Peggy, I missed your talents! We had 3 sell out nights turning people away the last two performaces. Also dealt with dinner theatre,a cancel show and refunding and exchanging tickets. Oh what fun, but the bookwork is done and along with the fun, WCCT has money to go on. Now it is Abby S. and Sally Evans turn to direct Curious Savage in April. At least by then we will not have to chip thick ice from the sidewalk or grumble about the frozen pipes in the men's bathroom. (That will happen when a squirrel chews off the furnace wires).
Congrat for Amanda on her venture to SA. Lee (son #2 that was in R&J) is in Argentina for a second trip. He went 3 years ago as a high school Jr with Rotary Exchange. Now he is taking a semester in Buenos Aires in Spanish. That will help with the civil engineering major from ISU. You can check his blog at lee1988.blogspot.com if you want his view of the world. He loves Argentina.
Cancelled schools in central Iowa today. Started as fog and slick roads, rain on ice, and now several inches of snow. Yes, your pictures look much warmer than ours this winter. We do have the beauty that looks like you just shook the snow globe and we are living inside. I bet many a snowman and women will be built from all this. We will have to head to Hospital Hill again now that conditions have improved. Remember Hospital Hill sledding don't you? Life thrills are not expensive.
Marcus, we read more of your blog than we have commented on. Keep blogging, we are with you via internet. More soon.
Donna and Dan and Jan
Hello again! It´s fun to comment when I actually am not in the same room as you! Glad the visit with Julie and Paul went well! I just got back from 3 days in Bolivia on an island that has no cars, no internet, and no hot water! It was great. Always an adventure, we hiked to my first Inca ruins, and the ledgendary birthplace of the first Inca, Manco Capac. I laid on the human sacrifice table, wait til ya see the pics! I miss you and am excited to share the stories and pictures with you. LOVE and more LOVE!
xoxo
Mandy
WOW, Marcus, what fun to read notes from all your WC and WCCT friends...and Mandy's of course!!! She is one very happy girl thanks to your gift of travel.
PK and I got back safe and sound to the central coast with more wonderful memories of times shared. Glad to hear yesterday was fun with your Maddox. What a gift in your life he is as you are to him. You knuckle head!!!!
Sunny here this morning and so good to talk with you at our sunrise chat again. How was the morning on the lake? I can see you pulling that rake behind you yesterday morning as you raked the rocks in the yard. Stay strong and love the day you have.
We're real excited to be heading out again for the benefit in GC. That will be wonderful. And...Patty, our wishes for a wonderful music night in Marcus's honor...you are wonderful to do this for him/Peg. I'll be there in spirit and heart. Take lots of photos.
Love to you, sweet brother, and REMEMBER...eggs are protein! Have some for breakfast, or lunch or dinner. Of course, Pizza does sound better!
Julie
Hello all, Peggy here. I am overwhelmed by all the love for Marcus and me. I will attend the fundraiser planned by sister, Patty, and then another by friends at Grand Canyon. Ellen, my stepmom, sent a check to cover my flight which is greatly appreciated. My coworkers at Lake View are filling my cup daily with their love and support. the comments posted on this blog are read and re-read by both of us so keep them coming. Much love to all of you. I'm one tired woman tonight so will keep this short. Every day is truly a gift.
Love, Peggy
Hi Marcus & Peggy & Mandy & Wes:
Doesn't the Internet and especially blogs like this for ongoing dialogue make the world seem small?? Down the block or several states away doesn't matter for this mode of communication. Every time I drive past your old house I try to imagine the scenery you must have at Grand Canyon. Hope it still seems as hugely big as the first time you saw it. Remember your days of Wes practicing guitar at home? That's how our house sounds these days with Eric's huge guitar passion and Kirk also picking away at bass and lead. Take care. Maybe we'll carpool to Cedar Rapids.
Mr. Eric Clapton! Just discovering your blog from my dear ole Dad, I have started to read the beautiful prose that you have written.
Looking over the pictures, I can feel the warmth and happiness that always surrounds the Furhman family. It's great to hear how the whole bunch is doing, with Mandy and her travels, and Wes with his Calculus (it somehow makes sense with his guitar playing, that he would like to fiddle around with other chords on paper).
To fill you in, I'm working at a law firm in Des Moines, awaiting news from Grad programs in Creative Writing, to see if I can pursue some type of writing as a career in the future.
I'm thinking of you and Peggy, hoping for rest and relaxation for you both. Take care.
Love, Carrie
Your love and laughter
Your brilliant sunrises
Your fighting, humorous spirit
and your precious perspectives
...your wisdom, formed and developed in a life well loving and living ...thank you for all of you that I carry with me.
I love you, Alec
Wow, Marcus and PEggy...your anniversary is on leap day? Hmm, that would make you married...how long?:)
Mandy, let me know when the slide show comes out! Are you back yet?? And Wes, way to go, neph. You're all brilliant, you know.
PEggy, I hope you rec'd the snow pics today. I've been outside, chopping ice off the sidewalk. In places, it is almost 4 to 5 inches thick. (Dang, I'm trying to type this without my reading glasses on. sit down and chill, cat!)
I keep the Ankrum christmas booklet on my coffee table, look at it at least every other day (Thanks, Paul and Julie). How can people who live so many miles away, feel so next room to me? I'll never give up that feeling.
UPDATE: To raise more money, we are issuing at the concert a limited edition of Waubeek Trackers music, recorded at one of our farewell concerts at Maucher Union recital hall at University of NOrthern Iowa. KUNI radio recorded and broadcasted live. It's not polished, but it sounds musically great...there's nothing that replicates that energy only found giving it out to an audience. So it's a 2-CD set, for donation, not for sale. Peggy, I'll send a set home with you.
I love you all, you are in my heart of soul, about as as deep as you can go. I think of you every day. Especially when the snow is deep!
bye for now,
Patty Iowa
Hey, just dropping a note to remind you that I'll see you mega soon. I have sufficiently worn the hat so that when I deliver it smells of a proud fisherman will bound forth. With love from the chilly north,
WT
Hey Markie Baby,
just found out that out time changes happen early this year...I'm thinking we'll be on the same time zone starting March 9th. Early morning sunrises again. Is that right?
So glad you enjoy your new book. I sure treasure all those memories held inside its pages.
Have a wonderful reunion with Ms. Mandy on Thursday. I bet she'll be giving you one gigantimous hug!
Love you, bro,
Jules
Dearest Marcus & Peggy and family - our thoughts and prayers are with you as you enter the Hospice portion of your journey. They are a WONDERFUL organization with caring and sensitive people. We will always cherish the memories of our time spent together at WCCT. I still look upon luring you to their stage in "Romeo & Juliet" as one of my proud legacies during our time in the theatre there. We have now been on the California Central Coast in San Luis Obispo for a bit over a year - and we're LOVIN' it! Can't remember if I told you, but I had the opportunity to sing the role of Caiaphas in a local production of "Jesus Christ Superstar" last summer, and then Linda and I are involved in a production of "My Fair Lady" with the SLO Little Theatre that opens May 23. Wish I could be there to give you one of my patented Curt Miner bear hugs - but I guess this cyberhug will have to do ((<<>>)) ... did ya' feel it? Peace & blessings ..... REV CURT =)>
Post a Comment