you say this is christmas

It's actually christmas plus four days. I'm sitting inside our glass castle, just cat and I, awaiting another sunrise. Sometimes I wonder; sometimes I try to guess or estimate how many more sunrises I'll get. How the numbers range: doctors don't/won't tell, "you understand that each cancer patient and their prognosis is different", research: one year to two stats suggest...time, worry, distractions. Pulling me away from this day, this morning's edge of grey skyline, these blended mute shades of desert scrub and distant butte. Pale blue ceiling of star empty sky, lighter now than when I even began these words. I wonder, does another sun rise inside us, an awakening or early light that sets the long day of our life with the same hope and beauty and promise I find in each dawning day? Sometimes I feel, in memory, a similar dawn. My warming families by birth and marriage and parenting, my childhood of dreams and endless, sky-infinte words, how I discovered that reading was the spreading wamth of a sun's illumination with a light that strikes all our reasoning, all our future horizons and shows more real the desert scrub and distant buttes that we reach for and wander thru later in life. I love sunrise. And I'll have as many as this long day of life allows. Sunlight dismisses distractions, worry and time.
Ok, the light is off the the edge and it's time to talk about what was most recently good and interesting. Isn't that why you read these blogs?
What's that song? "I went to a canyon party, and much to my surprise, memories and near retirees' dancing to old rock n' roll?" Maybe it that other tune? "Saturday night at the ET, who cares what picture you see?" So much fun. Peg, after spending a day with Laura and Wendy and Sheila primping and pimping, reminded me of the power of a little black dress. Peggy sue you looked beautiful. i wanted to strut and sway like a lusty young peacock. But hey, at the party, "The joint was jumping, and we went round and round" - thru dinner and dessert and a few drinks, I danced half of every third song, thank you very much. I felt good. Later in the evening, I tired. So I sat, and chatted and shared stories and smiles with so many happy folks, that I thought I was sitting at a happy, happy, joy, joy banquet. we stayed late and after a late burst of energy, like a shadow of Ken ( I can lift you higher!) Phillips, I danced like there was no tomorrow, no sunrise ahead of me or any of the dancing devils, feeling only a liviness of laughter and love that shared moments of joy create.
I know Precious Peggy and I are lucky; cus dog-gone it, people like us. Thank you canyon cousins, your love is as real and deep as the wonderland you live beside. I will be at the Christmas Rotary dance, next year, and that's lot of sunrises isn't it?. I'll stop off here as the bright light of memory is making my eyes feel funny...
See you next sunrise, laughter and love, marcus

ho, ho....where'd the other ho go?

Celebrate. Ya' teeh kess-messh. I Feel Good. Laughed until my cheeks ached. How to do that when you're dealing with powerful disease like Kancer?
HERE IS HOW IT'S DONE: Be one with: family, friends and phone calls. Sunday morning, the sun yet to stretch its warmth and light here at home, and the house is quiet despite nine sleeping relatives here from Iowa and Ill. They are scattered about the house at this hour and not a relative is stirring 'cept my little mouse--er. Lucky-Cat Friar Brian here for 4 weeks now and this kitty's a keeper. He lays quietly on my lap, eats but little, mimes his meows and hides for thirty min. when company comes over and yet he still receives constant attention and pleasantries. Makes me jealous.
But jealous might others be from how I've being treated. Ten days or so ago I was invited to a "blessed, blessed night" at our neighbors, Lisa and Pat Horning, where scrumptious food and festive planning had been afoot. Early evening - school night and Peg-and-I and Mandy walk into their kool haybale homestead. Low and high I see a huge banners, with a funny pictures and paper cut-out snow flakes writen with "Get better", "We miss you at school", and "The Bestest?" Standing around the Horning's southwest wonder-room are dozens of my students from Page high school. They greet me: cheering and laughing and hugging me with smiles if not smilies. Other snowflake cutouts carry other memories: High Fives, Most Awesome Music, You Go Girl, Ight, waz up G? and my favoirite: "Will you please stop your excessive blabbering?" I guess they must of learned something in all those years, more true now are what I underestand of Louie A's lyrics "They're really saying 'I Love You'". So for a short slice of this wonderful life I was treated to 2-3 hours of sharing, laughter, spagetti, salad, garlic-cheese bread, and dessert after dessert after cookies. And the school night played on. The roses I received still smell as sweet! Students,(that includes all of us humans) time to take some notes. Write this down in your heart. It's important, not for school or a report card but it will help for living the "A" life. Students, friends and family you gave me an evening that fill the tip-top of my misty, happy heart. Filled me to the tip-top of my contentment and satisifation quotient. You gave me strong medicine even if it limited my thanks to one, teary eyed sentence..."Laughter and learning is the best combination". That thought is what brought us together and binds us; that is the receipe for creating love and caring. Thank and bless each every one of us.

More jealous others may be. Two days later my brother, Peter< and Richard from France, putted across Lake Powell for a 3 hour tour. Boat ran perfecto; weather outside was frightful, water dead-flat and wind calm but the atomosphere a chilling 30' and threating snow. I did my tour spiel and a dam drive by, told the usual flood story of 1983 and blah, blah, blah...but wait, is that a bald eagle watching from the red sandstone hoodoo? Yep. Sitting still as the stone, and posing for photos as we idled past. 20 min later, on the return, he still sat and we still putted by and we still shot him with kodak-ammo. Steered passed a few tumbling, half sunk tumbleweeds, avoided the nearly exposed rocks jutting out and then spied another tumbleweed from the warm cabin of our crusier..."But it looks like it's moving to the left", I said to Peter. So again we stopped and we stared and we finally recognized a coyote in mid-lake swimming toward the cliffs and beaches below Lakeside Drive. Whoa. Doglike, with its head level and his bouyant tail looking like a floating rudder, Coyote paddled its best coyote-paddling, deliberately, slowly, in quiet cold water, always making headway to shore. We followed for 20 min. or so and watched him successfully waddle, limp and hobble onto the red sand beach. Coyote turned and looked at us, stumbled a little and tried to climb up a stone bench about 20" high. Half frozen, he half jumped and fell down; cyote jumped again, fell again, and on the third try, the same clumsy faliure. Turning up the slope, coyote found a gentler incline and wound around the step. Now 10 min from water's exit, and having warmed its hypothermic limbs, coyote began a slow lope toward a distant tree shelter. Minutes later we noticed a large bird overhead and as it's shadow covered the boat my first thought "Tyradatycl"! Ancient animal, huge wing span and an extended neck that that rivaled a giraff. My scientifically-trained brother Peter, corrected me and tagged the bird a "Swan". We looked to each other, thinking of the bald eagle, the water-logged coyote and the soaring swan. We smiled and I said "Pretty nice episode for "Wild Kingdom, don't you think?". Nice day on the lake.

Even more jealous you may be. Same week, Saturday at Grand Canyon, annual community holiday party in the El Tovar...more on that party later, time to wrap this up and send it off and bid all a toasty two days till christmas...love and laughter, marcus

back to normal?

of course NORMAL does not exist but we all share it and know people who are not.

I am watching, feeling the sun rise as it normally does, far to the south, peeking out behind this latest line of grey storm clouds. This a.m. it's cat and I, awake two hours and tackled the usual normal sat. chores: straighten up the front room, build warming fire, wash dishes from Fri. night popcorn and ice cream, watched cat play with window blind cords, ground and brewed fresh coffee, put stuff away. Peggy's still knocked out, not normal, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeping and that's a great thing, because the stress on me is different than my closest,intimate care-givers. I deal with my immediate condition/s and know and am able to act on pain, unusual changes in my systems. I can accept and feel directly the treatments and chemo, but Peggy, and Mandy as well, are a step away, less defined and less deliberate. I'll bet it must be more uncertain for them and all the others: wes/alena, jules/pk, ct, dan-oh/tt shell/tom and more people than I could ever list here; this disease is more uncertain and, thus for all of you, more difficult to manage or keep a grip on. Me, I just get to be the disease, and I think it's harder to watch than participate directly. I am lucky to have such wonderful women with me now; so how do I rate and why do I deserve them? How? Easy, I just chose well 27+ years ago and found a mate, a partner far beyond normal. Which, naturally leads to children of the same ilk.

Went to Flag for treatment, counts were low, so got my BOOOSTER meds and drove home to a wet, windy homestead. I've felt much better last few days, digestion is starting to jibe and there is so much to be said for a NORMAL digestive tract...think of your metabolism as ideal traffic flow where you drive everyday, no long jams, bumper to bumper, stop and go; and no racing speedsters in a hurry to get through. Traffic here in s. utah is occasional and easy to get used to, just the way my metabolism wants to be...so much to be said for being normal.
Hey you should all know about Mia-pa-dia, cousin/niece from colo. (Thanks for the hook up, Normie, your reward is coming soon) Mia stayed an extra week and helped with all kinds of tasks, helped lay a few tiles, mixed and put down grout,and best of all, chopped loads of kindling for our nightly fires, check out the pix, her greatest success, however, was the the chocolate pie from scratch (the 2nd one)simply delicious and tasting better than normal.
I dropped by the high school to see and say hi to staff, was a tender moment, I do miss teaching, especially after I watched Nutcracker with all the local kids. I felt sadness, sadness, sadness, as I took in all the beauty around me, around us all: a classical piece of music, young people in fantastic costumes, dancing a ballet, the stage and settings of drama and how plays have always had power to move and refresh what is best in us. I was sad for the pleasures that have been mine since college, the community theatre in Iowa, helping with the student theatre groups and of course, helping high school kids perform awesome renditions of Romeo and Juliet; guess I felt sad just remembering the power of immortality in all that stuff that Shakespeare left us. So I felt sad, but it' weird, I still found myself smiling through the bittersweet beauty in all our lives, but hey, that's normal isn't it?

love to all, marcus

the case for regularity

Travel to Flag tomorrow to resume chemo and active particiaption in my health care/ recovery. Actully it's fairly passive: I sit; they drip. I sleep; they drip/drip. I wake; we visit; they do drip to the third power. I sigh and shuffle out to the truck, listen to songs with Peggy on the way home, and finally sleep. But it is important to rejoin the battle. I want everyone to know, all who wish me well, wish me love, and wish me strength are with me during the harsh, hard hours under this black cloud of cancer, and in those hours, I recall and remember your faces, your hugs and your words and wishes. You lighten up those clouds. In Hawaii, we learned that rain on one side of island, meant sunny on other side! Not forget: the sun will rise again and again and again. like me. like peggy, like my children and family and friends. so many. i'm a lucky man on the sunny island side.
love, marcus

and the beat goes on

hey thanksgiving is getting here so a big, huge, monsterous, giant THANKS to all of the most helpful loving people in our recent days and nights: cindy and mark greatest hosts to us so far from home and even more thanks for the reptilian recreation, mandy's vertical jump doubled that evening, thanks to whitey and honey for old school kindnesses, bob-oh and laura who know no limits to helping, dan-oh and terry and their taxi service and snake cane, dave b (sorry about the poker game) pete and all his tools,technique and attention to detail, tommy my big water concrete kid, shel and her two childs who keep me jung, davy dob for stilt skills perfecto, coat after coat, smooth, smoother, smoothest and don't take short cuts cuz he's #1 professional and he don't do junk. brandy you work so hard and still get bruised!
another level of thannks for my brothers, hours of driving,flying and helping,,,love you forever chas you're one major motor-fo bro forever,,,harry glad you went home and then got on a plane and damn the nervousness, came out to nowhere land to visit and reconnect with me. thanks, as well to the world's greatest comic and card dealer:harry III. best not forget my live in saints, peg and mandy. got to go, pizza on my lap and wine on the table, bye love marcus

Trick and Treats part II

at some wonderful time in the last century, i used many of the words in the song below. tune is mellow and words are true= will you marry me peggy-o? i like it, six minutes of serinity in a world of constant distraction. also, so many years with a woman of wonder and caring. my own Peggy-O. love is so good...

now, weekend update by Carvin Mygut. had the surgery, 7 days later it still was the pits, hoses all over/under/up/in my body, ga-ga drugs and too many needles. surgery was half ok=got my new plumbing fixtures which had to happen, half not ok, bladder stayed put, too much cancer round and bout it. so we go to ANOTHER option. radiation therapy. seems like they can zap the blad from without,without it out! that's "three outs" in one sentence, pretty cool huh? hey, bladder, bladder, ok, i'll stop, but the game continues. i am and i know peg and our kids are also, so touched and tendered by your words of love, support and caring.

Feeling much better tonite, had pizza and soup and eggs today, no, not on one plate.
wonderful people have helped and special thanx to my loving, doting children, mandy the mistress of makeup, wes the best head bonker i've ever known, alena for constant care and instant info resource, and others, where do i begin? with cindy and mark for ultra accommadations, bob and laura for in house support, dan and terry-0 for the same, shelly and tom for keeping it green and Johna and Mel for helping clean, jim-bo and vicki for his drive bys, dix and patty for continued heartland connections, all the builders,rock stars and dirt devils from the makeover weekend, renae & davie dob for "what the heck are you trying to do here fuhrman" efforts, Brandi for mail call, Keith and Nancy for diesel dollars, canyon folks for the pot lucks and stayovers, and to all my familyphonecalls:awesome see you soon. thanks also to Billy B for the tune. I do love my Peggy O.
all for now, time for more food for rebuilding and bulking up for WWF.

love to all, marcus
(ps: if you feel left out, you're not, i'm just not perfect with memory)

trick or treat

all the pre-testing, measuring, guaging, screening, prodding, x-raying, ct-ing, bleeding and waiting is finished. at dawn on halloween i meet the knife! AHHHHHHHHH. and i'm glad. pegandi and mandy are in tucson, and at 5am or so drive over to Tucson Medical Center for the operation at 7am. by lunch time (for all of you, not I) it'll be out of there. hope for best result, gather all your powers of positive thinking, hoping, and imagining. send them directly to me and my destiny, in any shape or form. cry out to the sky, i'll hear you, hum a happy note and i'll be humming beside you, sing when you see the sunrise and i'll feel its glow on my skin. thanks beyond thanks to deepest appreciation and loving warmth fills me as i start this next journey. so many well wishes from so many of you, my family, my friends and those who know they are both. I feel so well loved.
peg and mandy will update and give you the facts, ma'm, just the facts, while i'm morphed out and perhaps less than clear speaking and thinking. we'll keep this current and give a phone # for the hospital room.
love and then love again, to all
marcus

Gratuitous Photo Opt...

Couldn't fit them all on one blog (hit the beauty limit)...
PS having artistic control over this blog gives me the right to randomly insert photos of Freddie Mercury as I see fit.
Muuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaa haa!
XOXO ~*~*~*~Mandy

Part 3...

Soooo... this is Mandy here, to let you know that things-a been-a happening! We have a date set for surgery aka carving time... Halloween! (I ain't afraid of no ghosts!) We had a really encouraging meeting in Tucson last week with the surgeon (like a surgeon, cuttin' for the very first time...) Dr. McDonald and set everything up to take care of business.
We will be in Tucson for about 2 and a half weeks, hopefully hanging out with all those special sparklers at the Grand Canyon first for a few days before we head south.
**Dad and I went on a Colorado River trip through Cataract Canyon, and it was CRAZY. We were very fortunate to experience such wild beauty with such wild hominids!
**The Extreme Makeover Big Water Edition was a HUGE success and we want to thank everyone so much for donating time, food, love, and SWEAT to help us out. The place looks amazing, just like you! Coming from so far, willing to get down and dirty to help us is a true statement of character! THANK YOU!
Paul Louis, you are a crazy man & thanks to you know I know more about sheetrocking than I ever dreamed. Some is still stuck in my hair, no joke. Julie, thanks for all the chocolate cake breaks you 'forced' upon the guys!
**Wes & Alena, we miss you! We're glad you are feeling better because being sick is a pain in the BASS!
**Thanksgiving is going to be a theme party this year (wonder who thought of that)... Aliens and Indians. We have some special guests coming from California to initiate the festivities... can't wait to see you guys!!!!!!!
**Marcus/Dad/Cancer Man/UncleMarkyBaby is looking good, I am proud to report sightings of a moustache and other various hair outcroppings I've personally witnessed upon that beautifully shaped skull of his.
As usual, thank you for all of your thoughts, jokes (the funny ones only... good work Uncle Al), LOVE, laughs, and continual support. Could we do this without you?... I wouldn't want to find out.
xoxo
Mandy & CO
PS CONGRATULATIONS to Alison & Bill on their marriage (that is ballin'.)

Getting Better All The Time

Since it's been 1 1/2 months since we last updated the blog I thought I'd spend some of my lonely time giving all an update - Marcus and Mandy are with ex-Phantom Ranchers (Grand Canyon) on a 6 day river trip from near Moab, Utah to the top of Lake Powell! Me? I have school...But, not to worry about me missing out on fun this fall. W build it in whenever we can!

Since the last update:
* Marcus had one more trip to Flag with Mandy for chemo. He got out of his last cocktail due to low white blood count - actually quite ok since they said 3 or 4 rounds and he managed 3 1/2.
* Mandy and Marcus went to New Mexico to pick up our new (to us) Eurovan camper - Mandy learned about stores on the Rez (Navajo Reservation) - fresh fruit, veggie choices? Huh?
* In mid August, Wes and Alena flew into Las Vegas where Julie and Paul picked them up and headed for Big Water. The next day they picked me up from school at noon and we had a little caravan - Julie and Paul with Mandy in BABBs and us in our EV camper, to the mountains near Teluride, Colorado where we met Kurt, Laura, Ali, Mia, and Neeve for 3 three nights of camping fun. Kurt, Marcus, and Wesley had time to fish (so did Alena who even cleaned fish!) while Paul went with all the women to Teluride. Camping was wet but worth it. Before, during, and after rains, the cousins entertained with Uncle Paul providing prizes which lead to even more entertainment. At one point Julie had to put Paul on time out. He was ticked that some campers (I use that word loosely here) moved in and intruded on our fun with their generator and to drown out the noise, we had a dance party. Unfortunately, this annyoyed everyone nearby except the noise making "campers" so we had to turn the music down. Paul wasn't really ready to end our dance party (he always has been one to supply music, fun and games) but Julie put her muddy food down and put him in time-out. I'm ready to plan another trip for next summer.
* Mandy took Wes and Alena back to Vegas where she caught a flight to SF to begin her journey to Burning Man. She has stories...and pictures...we'll post some soon. Mandy made costumes for Burning Man (I even made her some fake fuzzy fur leg warmers) and she looked like a pro! When they get off the river I'll have her post some pics. She gave us the fever and we plan to attend the post-party (Arizona Decompression) near Sunset Crater with her and some Grand Canyon friends. While we were discussing details, Mandy said she didn't plan to pitch her tent near us (not the place you need to be near your parents...). I asked her if we needed to include her in meals planning and you can imagine her response...well yeah, I'll eat with you. Maybe she'll share some costumes in exchange for food.
* Lake View Elementary (my school) has Camp Lake View at Jacob Lake (not really a lake) in mid Sept. so we took our camper for another trip. Beautiful weather for hanging around the campfire and a day trip to the North Rim - always a favorite destination for us.

Mandy and Marcus have done a little substitute teaching and Mandy's remembered that she hated middle school and loved high school. We're loving having her here, but realize it's pretty boring! So glad she had a week in cali and another at Burning Man. Also thankful they are on the river. I'm busy with my new job - love doing classroom guidance!

All is good with us as we head towards the middle part of the cancer experience. Marcus is nothing short of amazing and I gain my strength from him.

COMING UP!
* Extreme Makeover, Big Water style. Julie and Paul are coming from California to head up the project(s). Dan and Terry, Bob and Laura, Pete and Becky, Matt and Jeanne (all from Grand Canyon), our friend Norma, from Vegas and hopefully some local folks, will provide the man-womanpower to complete some projects. Our goals are to get the garage room in good enough shape for Mandy to have some space of her own, split and stack wood, finish the fence and maybe lay some flagstone. We have some other smaller projects as well. If you live nearby and get the urge to help - come on over! WE'll figure out where you'll sleep! Email or post a comment so I'll know how much food to have on hand.

* Dan and Terry, maybe Dave Cooley, and maybe Keith and Nancy, will join Marcus, Mandy and me plus some crazy Arizona Burners, for the Burning Man Decompression Party near Flagstaff.

* Marcus, Mandy and I head for Tucson Oct. 9th for a final consultation before surgery which will be scheduled within the next few weeks after that. We're still figuring out where we'll stay but have a few leads from Kelsos and my school's new social worker, Johna (an amazing woman!).

* Spend some time with the Talkers - between Gracie, Maddox, and Shelly being sick and Marcus getting a bug too, we haven't had much Talker time. We plan to attend Gracie's First Laugh party too. It's a Navajo thing!

Hope to be reading comments from you, our loyal followers, soon!
YOLO, OPT, EDAG, Peggy

on the down-slope

home alone, pegandmandy at the pool, already aug 4, after long chemo day in flag, friday. so three cycles active, one to go. Returned to utah and wonderful monsoon weather, about 80' and storms all over the landscape. Hey, even a rainbow landed on my head, ha! We returned after seven grey, quiet days on the coast, welcome fog and 70' days. Took time to read, eat fish and chips (thrice at three different restaurants = all good), watered and tended to Jule's vast garden spaces, played with pooch, watched an outdoor production of "Taming of the Shrew" performed "Western style" and even test drove a newer model vw camper which now has us thinking about returning to our former vagabond aged-hippie travel style. Could it be, that with peg still calling my truck names after a year of living with "Big Horn", it's time to move on? Here is the question: How can a guy love a truck and love a wife who doesn't share that guy thing about motion emotion? here's how to move on = sell big ole billy bob truck! no problemo.
Henny-way,we are home, and it's gear up time for school, Peggy is now back to her fav job, working as elem. school counselor. yeah, yeah, yeah! i get to sub while on chemo and thru the surgery time and perhaps more chemo after the gut-cut. Mandingo is prepping to sub as well at page schools. ah, the benefits of higher education. we getting phsyced for wes and alena to come play in the desert in about 10 days, norma you're the bomb! and yes the boat will be in the lake, gassed up and ready to run. Tanner, not to worry, we will hook up w/the stripers and trout. oh yeah.
Photo: one shows maddox and peg playing with poi balls that light up and create wondereous whizzing streams of liquid light, until one bonks you in the head or elsewhere, equally unpleasant. lots of fun, alfresco, santa barbara style.
well, time to go take a nap. love to all and any who read and care about us. we are lucky so many do. love to all and to all "hit the couch, it's sat.afternoon." marcus

half way home

hello again, time for update. peg and i and mandy are at norma's in vegas, and on our way to cool, foggy, comfortable calif because big water just refuses to forget it is a desert and won't cool off. we will spend a week there while my sis sails thru europe on a small river boat with paul louis.
so what's new? chemo is 50% over, only two more long and two more short days of treatment, that will be good to have done with, one drug is NASTY, makes me feel i'm in some special part of hell for about 3-4 days, have been coping otherwise fairly well, thanks in part to magic pills that disconnect the brain from receiving distress/pain/nausea signals from the rest of the "hot bod". thank you science. when chemo is over, i have an dr. appt. in tucson in mid sept and will be scheduled for surgery then. out with the bad, in with the good, then climb back to total health.
spent two days at the canyon last week, before the short day and i went out into the woods with three women! they filled the truck with lots of pinon pine and pine needles.
i send love and hope to everyone and don't forget: this is not practice, this is life!
later, marcus

world's longest wedding train

hello from Minnesota. we are ensounched at the hyatt, waiting to jog downtown to a jazzzzz club tonite, recommended by wesley tanner, who at this moment is walking with his wife on a beach in mexico. hard to recap all we've done, but here goes: Vegas last wednesday, sitting at Norma's pool, chillin-grilling. Puff, the magic fireworks hit a nearby palm tree and KABOOSH! instant 30' torch. draw-matic. off to airport, off the tarmack, off into the humid mid-west. shopped for rehearsal dinner, rehearsed, and had a beautiful sun filled afternoon at nearby indpendance lake. lots of kids, pizza, beer and laughter. nice day.
saturday, day of beauty, day of joy. girls-peggy, mandy, alena, tessa, jules and escort paul louis, drive off for fancy feet and painted nails. I napped. So dress up and get out to Alena's parent's house for ceremony. Look to photos for details on dressing and dresses. suffice to say SHE was a beauty in white and HE the coolest young man in western civ. stood in a flower stuffed garden filled with friends family. the wedding party walked in, a few words were shared and then: choo, choo, chooooooooo. a train roars thru the afternoon heat just behind the garden and must have hooked a total of 99 cars bouncing behind the engines. Definitely the world's longest wedding train! it was three minutes hilarious, unexpected entertianment. the rest of the day music played, friends danced, families talked and ate and ate some more. great to see peg's sista's, mary (and Mike) and patty, mother-in-law ellen a., and lots of wes' and mandy's old buds from our old home town of webster city, and special was the visit with the Oliver's. Friends. nuff said. kids danced into the nite and us old gezzers sat, laughed and wished we had such happy feet. alena, your parent created the prettiest flower garden wedding this side of shangri-la. thanks a gazillion margie and jack for making their day completely memorable.
sunday, woke up to a hot & way-way humid and sweaty city. 95 degrees! what to do? climb into a/c big american car and drove, after breakfast, out to lake minnetonka and checked out lake side living. stopped for late lunch, breeze picked up and 30 min later temp dropped to 75'! nice. back to alena's parent's house and watched wes and alena open presents and share sweets. spent rest of nite here at the hyatt with mandy, jules, paul, wes, alena, aunt mary, aunt patty and myself. ate, laughed, talked, back up to our room and time to cut my hair! shaved it off as pulling it out in public was beginning to bother some of us! so now i look like bruce willis without the attiutde and with a loving wife, daughter, and son and his offical new Mrs F.
today, we slept in, bid mary and patty adieu, had a wonderful lunch downtown and drove out the the botanical gardens. did a bunch of NOGS. (naps on grass) tomorrow we'll do a art musee, a science museum and visit cousin sue in st. paul. then off to the wild and hopefully cooler west on wednesday. later this week we get to flagstaff for round two, let's bring on the chemo and kill more cancer cells. "u gotz to die" says the cancernator.
Enjoy the photos and keep writing back, love and laughter to all, marcus

happy 4th.....damn it's hot

leaving today for vegas and meeting my SIS-ter and hubby and mandy mae. 101 outside, good truck, keep us chilled. tomorrow we land in 10,000 lakeland and prepare for tanner's wedding on saturday. Whooo-hoo. have managed the chemo better this week, little nasuea, lot of fatique...can you imagine me napping b/4 noon? not by the hair on my body which has yet to fall out/drop off/blow away. probably happen during the "does anyone here have a reason why this man and woman should not...."
we'll be there about a week, get back in time for next go-round with big chemo day nxt friday. till then: wake early, watch the sunrise, and take lots of naps...
love to all, as always
marcus

ps-chas, nice hook up. pk/jules thanks for mandy-land revisit, emily zack should go on stage, al love you music site, patty welcome to gmail. mandy/wes/alena get ready to party with the ole desert rat, and his wife.

here we go again....it used to be fun

thursday, at the canyon, dry hot and quiet. sitting in lori and scott's apt, peg is having a snack and i feel decent. decent, and as well as a guy should feel when he's hygenic and hyper-vigilant and hypernoid (?) about his turncoat-traitor body. had a short, non-violent procedure yesterday, two docs put a porta-cath in my manly upper body. look out Arnold, i'm the now the cancernator. gonnna kill you cancer, who's you killer,, yah, u bet=cha.
pegandi took tourist trip wed here, went to the new yavapai musee, took the shuttle to the el tovar, drank a coooooool one and watched the canyon fade to grey. back with friends for food and laughs...a good day after 4 #*^%^&^&* days of not so fun, icky, this is my reality? moments interrpted by " i think the comode is right behind this door...quickly, quickly and then drop back to horizontal
but today and yesterday portend better days behind the grunge and garbage of treatment. next week at the gala wes/lena weddding i suspectd i'll feel happier than a pig in ____, sorry for the midwest image-we just so left the flatland. pegandi found the cooolest threads, can you spell S I L K ? for my bod and i know i'll be the best looking bald guy in maple plain.
can't believe my precious loving son is getting hooked-up, the ring-thing, about to do the I DO - WE DO's. Want you to know tanner, the there are too few words in all languages in this universe, to tell how much i have enjoyed every moment of being your dad, father, role-model (good,bad,confusing) teacher, coffee man, fishing buddy, driving instructor, carpenter guide (watch your head wes!) music critic-wes please play "3rd stone from the sun" when I'm back there, you're my co-poet, my replacement and let's go fishing wes!!! whatcha doing sunday after your wedding? too few words. member= don't be sorry, be nice.
alena, you are the third luckiest person on the planet. peg and i have known him forever as one fine son.
enuf for thursday, tomorrrow round two and the return to rapid recovery before the trip to Mpls.
again thanks to all who take time to post and share with me this odyssey. can't always respond by blog or phone, but each of you sits in a fold of my quiet, warm memory blanket.
love, infinity, marcus

Let the treatment (begin) continue!

I'm writing for Marcus who is baking in his chemo cocktail. First night went well at Kelso's house near Flagstaff - almost too good to be true! Saturday proved to be a little more rooted in reality - highlight was having the Talker family visit. Sunday has been...well...started with a beautiful morning walk to visit our friends, the Winter's, up the street followed by much rest (with side effects) for Marcus and misc. chores by Peggy.
Our little lake home's garden looks great thanks to our friend's the Talkers, and neighbors, Jim and Vicky Winters, and John and Pat. The Grand Canyon Merry Maids (aka Terry Tobin and Laura Kelso) worked their magic so we returned home to a super clean house (wonder what color the water was when you cleaned the carpet).

Figured out that we have changed lodging 20 times since we left Page on our quest for the best. Let's see....can i name then?
1. Grand Canyon, (Guy and Sheila's)
2. Flagstaff (Phillip's)
3. Sand Island on the San Juan (camping with Mandy)
4. Colorado River camping with Mandy near Moab
5. Boulder to stay with Kurt, Laura, and girls
6. Kearney, Nebraska with Wes and Alena - the hot-tub was worth it.
7. Mount Vernon, Iowa, at Dixie and Steve's (Wes and Alena at Marsha's), near Patty
8. Mary and Mike's in Webster City, IA
9. Baker Park near Alena's parent's in Maple Plain, Minnesota (Alena's sister, Tess had graduation party)
10. back to Webster City (Mary and Mike's) and a quick visit with my stepmom, Ellen
11. back to Mount Vernon (Dix, Steve, Patty)
12. Someplace in Kansas
13. Alamosa, Colorado
14. home sweet home
15. Grand Canyon (Sheila and Guy's)
16. Victorville (why not drive part way to Mandy's graduation from University of California, Santa Barbara!)
17. Ashley and Niki's with "Grandma" - graduation party.
18. Arroyo Grande to be with Julie and Paul, the bed and breakfast extrodinare, relatives, with guest Mandy.
19. Head home, wake up in Laughlin. Mandy said, when she called from Laughlin, Nevada (lost with her friends on the way to Flagstaff), "We're in Laughlin....What is this place? It's like a mini Las Vegas!"
20. Kelso's mountain-view home for Marcus to have his first, all day chemo (9 to 5:00);

21. Home and kicking cancer. This too shall pass....

Next? Another treatment in Flagstaff on Friday (port-a-cath in on Wednesday), Vegas on the 4th of July to meet Mandy, Julie and Paul to fly to Minneapolis and another big event, the wedding of Wesley and Alena. Then back home (with Mandy) for more chemo, eventual surgery in Iowa, and back to Big Water to finish up treatment.

Your comments, well wishes, and stories are welcome reading for us. Once Mandy comes to stay with us, Marcus will have her lap top so he'll likely communicate more frequently.

OPT (Only Positive Thoughts), EDAG (Every Day is A Gift), and YOLO (You Only Live Once) - with love and appreciation for our family and friends, Peggy

college & cali

back a week ago gone, terry and dan-dah-man babysat me and me woman, sat, hot-tubbed, sold the camper, loved our gardens and plants, and went to the canyon on thursday for poker, of course i won, and then to flag to see chemo-guy, begin that therarpy this friday, gave em some blood and then on to the freeway and surprize Mandy! what a meltdown that mornng,kisses & hugs and holding my daughter and her mom made a fabo-fav father's day feeling. i kept on arm open for tanner, but he'll fill that grasp next month in mini-soda. graduation was fun, long time in chairs, sunny, ocean side, so many young people going out into the real world, good luck. typical , mandy mae party, costumes and craziness, good food and hey who made the sangria? thx to hummer who plays for love of music and family, thx to j&p for helping mandy in sooooooo many ways and times. thx to to great-grand canyon crowd who care enough to help me through the coping, grief and daily details. thx to bigwater-neightbors for keeping it green and clean. Jim you ought to open a quick-lube! sheri and russ, can still taste the flavor of s/w chicken and sausage.
so. what next?
we spend today, mon here on the coast and then off to vegas, norms's and home wed. will be in flag for thursday - friday as i accept my magic potion/poison that can start killing the bad side of marcus, hell, couldn't kill the good side with all the WMD 's that don't exist except in the small reptilillan brain of a small man from texas. prob. stay in flag, fri and then home for sun and recoup/relax/recover for a week. that is up to date, here and now, and nuff to write cuz i'm going shopping for wesley's wedding - clothes and and shoes and maybe a wig? love to all, marcus and peggy.