back to normal?

of course NORMAL does not exist but we all share it and know people who are not.

I am watching, feeling the sun rise as it normally does, far to the south, peeking out behind this latest line of grey storm clouds. This a.m. it's cat and I, awake two hours and tackled the usual normal sat. chores: straighten up the front room, build warming fire, wash dishes from Fri. night popcorn and ice cream, watched cat play with window blind cords, ground and brewed fresh coffee, put stuff away. Peggy's still knocked out, not normal, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeping and that's a great thing, because the stress on me is different than my closest,intimate care-givers. I deal with my immediate condition/s and know and am able to act on pain, unusual changes in my systems. I can accept and feel directly the treatments and chemo, but Peggy, and Mandy as well, are a step away, less defined and less deliberate. I'll bet it must be more uncertain for them and all the others: wes/alena, jules/pk, ct, dan-oh/tt shell/tom and more people than I could ever list here; this disease is more uncertain and, thus for all of you, more difficult to manage or keep a grip on. Me, I just get to be the disease, and I think it's harder to watch than participate directly. I am lucky to have such wonderful women with me now; so how do I rate and why do I deserve them? How? Easy, I just chose well 27+ years ago and found a mate, a partner far beyond normal. Which, naturally leads to children of the same ilk.

Went to Flag for treatment, counts were low, so got my BOOOSTER meds and drove home to a wet, windy homestead. I've felt much better last few days, digestion is starting to jibe and there is so much to be said for a NORMAL digestive tract...think of your metabolism as ideal traffic flow where you drive everyday, no long jams, bumper to bumper, stop and go; and no racing speedsters in a hurry to get through. Traffic here in s. utah is occasional and easy to get used to, just the way my metabolism wants to be...so much to be said for being normal.
Hey you should all know about Mia-pa-dia, cousin/niece from colo. (Thanks for the hook up, Normie, your reward is coming soon) Mia stayed an extra week and helped with all kinds of tasks, helped lay a few tiles, mixed and put down grout,and best of all, chopped loads of kindling for our nightly fires, check out the pix, her greatest success, however, was the the chocolate pie from scratch (the 2nd one)simply delicious and tasting better than normal.
I dropped by the high school to see and say hi to staff, was a tender moment, I do miss teaching, especially after I watched Nutcracker with all the local kids. I felt sadness, sadness, sadness, as I took in all the beauty around me, around us all: a classical piece of music, young people in fantastic costumes, dancing a ballet, the stage and settings of drama and how plays have always had power to move and refresh what is best in us. I was sad for the pleasures that have been mine since college, the community theatre in Iowa, helping with the student theatre groups and of course, helping high school kids perform awesome renditions of Romeo and Juliet; guess I felt sad just remembering the power of immortality in all that stuff that Shakespeare left us. So I felt sad, but it' weird, I still found myself smiling through the bittersweet beauty in all our lives, but hey, that's normal isn't it?

love to all, marcus